How to Become a Hero c.j. hayden
   How to Become a Hero
   You Are the Champion the World Is Waiting For

   C.J. Hayden, MCC

Home | Resources | About C.J. | Contact

Letting go to make room for more 

new yearI always become contemplative at this time of year, considering the year just past and the year to come. I list my successes, achievements, and wins for the past twelve months, and also my failures, breakdowns, and disappointments. Usually, I make discoveries. What I learn from this process leads me to set goals, design projects, and make commitments for the new year that will hopefully result in more wins and fewer breakdowns.

One of my significant discoveries in reviewing 2009 was that many of this year's accomplishments had to do with letting go. I let go of possessions I no longer needed, got rid of some emotional baggage, put to rest projects that were not serving me, reduced my financial overhead, and ended a few client relationships. Simultaneously, many of the year's disappointments resulted from activities and opportunities I wanted to pursue, but couldn't find time for.

Hmm, it seems that there is an equation to be deduced here. In order to make room for more, I need to let go of more.

Like many humans, I often behave as if time were infinitely expandable, adding more and more activities, projects, and relationships to my life until it is bursting at the seams. The upside is that I get a lot done and have the pleasure of playing in many different arenas. The downside is that with my days already so full, there is little room for anything new. And one of the activities I love most is starting new things!

If one is always starting new projects, and none of them ever end, the eventual result is a mathematically predictable state of impasse. So I have determined that my first resolution for 2010 is to let go of projects that are not essential for the present. Every activity and relationship I'm engaged in served me at some point in the past. Many will serve me again in the future. But it is what fills my life in the present that determines both my own happiness and my capacity to serve others.

Since 2003, I've been posting to this blog, sometimes frequently, at other times not so often. It has been a rewarding activity to engage in, and has opened the door to many fulfilling relationships. But... I have concluded that at this point in time, it is no longer essential that I continue it. This will be the last new post here, for the present.

I hope you have enjoyed being one of my readers. The How to Become a Hero site will remain up, so past entries will still be available. If you would like to stay connected, please link to me on Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn, or stop by to see what else I'm up to.

I wish you all the best for your own hero's journey in 2010 and beyond.

Labels: ,

Tea party for heroes 

It's coming up on six months since I hosted the first "life purpose tea party" in San Francisco for readers of this blog. I think it's time to do it again, don't you?

If you live in the Bay Area and your work centers around issues of life purpose or right livelihood, please join us. We'll be getting together on Tuesday, June 29 at 2 PM in the Inner Sunset neighborhood. If you'd like to attend, please email me to RSVP.


Life purpose tea party 

I'm organizing a tea party in San Francisco the first week of December for readers of this blog whose work centers around life purpose or right livelihood. If you're in the Bay Area and fit that description, please email me. If I haven't already contacted you, I probably don't know you live nearby (or that you're a reader).


Share your job-seeking story 

My new book Get Hired NOW! will be coming out in 2004 from Bay Tree Publishing. My partner Frank Traditi and I have the manuscript about half finished, and we're in the process of collecting job search stories -- both successes and failures.

Did you ever find a job by being persistent... in an unusual way... by joining a job club... through informational interviewing... by asking everyone you knew? Did you have a hard time finding work by looking in the wantads... by searching on the web... by using a start-and-stop approach?

We're looking for first-person stories about your job search experiences to illustrate what really works to find a job. If you're a coach or counselor who works with job-seekers, please forward this request to your clients also.

You can submit your story at our web site. We've suggested some topics there for you. If your story is selected for the book, in addition to international fame, you'll receive a free autographed copy.


On vacation 

I will be on vacation from Monday, Sept 22 until Tuesday, Oct 7. I'll be cruising from San Francisco to Fort Lauderdale via the Panama Canal on the Island Princess. My sweetheart Dave and I will be traveling with four good friends, and our port calls will be Cabo San Lucas and Acapulco in Mexico, Puntarenas in Costa Rica, then through the Canal and a brief stop in Colon, Panama. We'll end with a day in Aruba and then fly home from Florida.

If I feel inspired, I may post some entries from the Internet cafe on the ship. Or not. If you don't hear from me, it probably means I'm having a great time.


On web radio today 

I'll be the guest today on The Coaching Show,"The Voice of Professional Coaching" on Internet Radio. On Tuesday, Sept. 9, at 3 PM Pacific, I'll be speaking with hosts Andrea Wylan CPCC, PCC, and Christopher McAuliffe on the topic of "Overcoming the Fear of Self-Promotion." To listen:

1. Go to, and click the "Listen Live" button at the top.

2. In the Microsoft Internet Explorer box, click Play. (You may need to wait a minute or two for the play to begin.)

3. Call in and join the conversation!

If you can't listen Tuesday, listen anytime in the archives.


Hero's review 

How to Become a Hero was just awarded 4 blogging stars (out of 5) by The Weblog Review. Reviewer Brendan Creecy says, "C.J. talks about... many different faiths and philosophies and provides many informative links," and calls Hero "a great read." Thanks, Brendan!


New weblog showcase 

"How to Become a Hero" is featured this week in the new weblog showcase sponsored by The Truth Laid Bear. If you enjoy this blog and would like to vote for me in the showcase, you must be a blog author yourself. All you need to do is link to my sample blog entry in your own blog sometime before this Sunday. Be sure that your blog is listed in the Blogosphere Ecosystem (a good idea anyway to attract readers to your blog). You can get more details about the showcase here.

My own votes for the showcase are a first prize for Indigo Ocean - Currents of Mind, first runner-up for Blogonaut, and honorable mention for

And if you have been thinking about starting a blog of your own, but haven't done it yet, you can get started blogging for free in minutes at Blogger or Xanga.


Coaching on the radio this weekend 

I'll be appearing on "The Edge" with Kathy Fettke this Sunday night. On KNEW Talk Radio, 910 AM in the S.F. Bay Area (or on streaming audio on the web), I will be coaching live on how to promote yourself and become better known for what you do. Listen in on August 31 from 8-9 PM Pacific.

"The Edge" is launching a Dream Challenge reality-radio contest, and I will help kick it off as 90 contestants go for their dreams over 60 days. You can call in, too for free live coaching on your dreams, at 1-800-345-KNEW, toll free in the U.S.


Home | Resources | About C.J. | Contact